Heavy Souls

Rain blurred the bodies into a single, sodden heap. I lay numb among them and could only half-close my mouth to keep the water out. Artemis was near straining her words until her voice broke, "She's still there", and for the first time since the fight ended something started to leak through the numbness: tears.

The battle was over. We had won. It had gone great, apparently. Emma or Hannah, or maybe Zack told me as much before dragging me in one of the wicker houses along with the rest of the wounded. Artemis soon joined me, wrapped up in a shawl or a blanket, shaking with cold or sobs. It was difficult to perceive, and it was harder still to feel. I had been in a place of no feeling before, back on Earth, but that had been because the walls I built up inside became so strong that even I couldn't see inside. This time, I was shattered, and there were simply no emotions left inside.

Some people had gathered a bunch of the goblin clothes and rags and made makeshift beds for the wounded. Sanitation and cleanliness didn't really matter all that much these days, we all had healing abilities, and a handful of healers, and they restored everything short of a missing limb to prime condition. I didn't care about any of the people in the cots around me, but the way Artemis sitting against the wall next to me felt wrong. She was supposed to stand tall and have a plan for everything. Why was she quiet, crying and occasionally punching herself in the face?

Right. God. Right.

I pushed myself, hard, in order to roll towards her a little bit.

"I'm sorry. You're strong," I managed to say and it took me a while and I wasn't sure it was two sentences. I knew I hated pushing on despite it being impossible. I had, somehow, grown strong too. It. Was not. Fun. Artemis snort-chuckled, with a sob.

"I know. I know. I've got this," she said. She didn't sound like she believed it. But sometimes you have to say things out loud for them to have any chance of becoming true.

It was then that Emma walked up to me, pretty beat up and haunted looking herself.

"Hey, big man, still with us?" she said. "Grurgh," I said. "Figures. You've got the aftereffects of two dangerously high overcharge effects on your body at the same time. You'll be fine if you don't even think about magic for the next ten hours. No magical healing either, it says so in the description," she said. "Words," I said. "Look, bruv, just… take a nap. You'll feel better in the morning," she said. "Liar," I managed.

I flopped back on my back. Before passing out I held out my hand to Artemis. She grabbed it with a desperation that would have surprised me if I could feel anything at all. It wasn't even about friendship. We both just needed to hold on to somebody to make sure we're still human. For a split second I felt her fingerbones twist the wrong way, pressing into my hand with a sharpness they shouldn't have. I squeezed back as hard as I could and passed out.

I woke up with blazing sun directly on my face, and so I was blinded before I noticed that my body was impossibly sore. If I hadn't gone through three days of semi-regular torture before coming to these woods, just the soreness would have been the worst pain I'd ever experienced. And it was every part of my body. My browridge was sore. My thumbs felt like they'd fall off. Actually everything. But it wasn't debilitating, at least not for the me with the boosted willpower and experience of those days.

I opened my eyes and saw that it was just me and Artemis left here. It made sense, most people could use recovery abilities and be healed up in half an hour if they didn't die.

"Mornin'," I said, and sounded like I'd sanded my vocal chords. "Good, you're awake, we can get moving," Artemis said. "You good?" I said. "Yes, I wasn't hurt badly. Emma just needed someone to stay with you so that your ability didn't automatically turn on and hurt you by healing you with magic," Artemis said. "That's- well, first of all, thanks," I said. "You're welcome. Anna should be getting here with the rest of the Guild. We found a road-" I looked her in the face, and she turned away, but not before I could see the blackened, charred, slightly smoking imprint of a hand covering nearly a half of it. "Not what I meant. What is wrong? Bet you anything it'll be worse if you don't talk about it," I said. "Fuck," Artemis said.

Being a master of conversation and improvisational decision making, I knew when to shut up and let the other person decide how to word things.

"She is still in my head. My- my soul maybe. I don't know. I hear her voice all the time. Sometimes she tries to sound like me, like my thoughts. Sometimes she threatens, promises, lies. Sometimes she tries to take control of a movement or a limb," she said. "Fuck. Fuck that sucks so much," I said. "And what happens when I go to sleep? What then? What if I wake up and the first thoughts in my mind are hers, but she's putting on my voice? What if she's in my dreams?" Artemis said, as her composure shook, "What if I disappear bit by bit and never notice it is happening?"

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. "That could happen," I said. Artemis laughed bitterly. "You're great at consoling people," she said. "It just doesn't seem likely. I mean, have you met you? You know exactly who you are, what you believe and you take action when it needs to be taken. Maybe some inter-planar, circus clown witch that smells like moss and rot can change you. It just, sort of doesn't seem like it'd happen to you," I said. "I don't know. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with my self-esteem. The Journal said so. But what if it is forever? For my whole life? I can't be trusted with the Guild," she said. "The Guild isn't yours to be trusted with. And you have friends. Friends of considerable arcane skill and talent. I assume a basic dispel didn't work?" I said. "No, tried it," Artemis said. "So, that won't even work on spells of every rank. We have healers, arcanists, and a forest full of strangers with unknowable arcane knowledge. You don't need to get used to this. You just need to hold on," I said.

She turned back to me, her smoldering wound on full view and I didn't think of looking away or showing anything on my face at all. It wasn't difficult. I was only looking at my friend. And when she saw that in my face she smiled at me, and looked like she might be alright.

"I'll hold you to it, wizard. Get me my damn elixir or whatever," she said, sounding a little more like her old self.

I focused on my Party ability as I heard movement outside.

"Guess they're here. Time to figure out if I can manage standing up," I said. "Here. Your walking stick," Artemis said, pointing at my staff by the cot.

I grasped my rod firmly, grateful to her for not helping me get up, and muscles screaming I stood upright. And went dizzy and nearly fell over. But I had my staff with me, you see. So I could hold on to it. Wizards. Always prepared.

Alright, so maybe my mind wasn't quite that recovered yet.

"I'll manage. If we don't have to sprint. Or jog. Or walk more than fifty feet," I said. "Looks like we both will just have to suck it the fuck up and look like the big badasses that everyone thinks we are," Artemis said. "That's me. Subtle and quick to anger," I said. "And I'm hard as nails and cute as a button," she said.

The spell was broken somewhat when as I left the wicker house, Zack tackled me in a hug and said:

"Dude, you're finally awake! You alright?" "Ow. Ow. That hurts. Ow," I said, as I tried not to lose control of my legs. "Here, let me help you," he said, pulling my left arm over his shoulder. That also hurt a lot, "Hey everyone! Alex and Artemis are back up!" "Zack, man! Don't break our fearless leader!" Ajit said, "The rest are here. We should be good to move as soon as you two are, but it doesn't look like Alex is ready for a hike yet." "No healing yet. I've never taken that potion myself, but I'm pretty sure you need to be fully recovered before magical healing won't make the hangover worse," Emma said. "Wait, so if I'd needed a potion while I was under its effects, what would have happened?" I said. "It'd be fine. It's the hangover that'll kill ya," she said. "And you're telling this to me now?" I said. "What? We had to come get Artemis and them. You would have taken it anyways," Emma said.

"Alex! You look like shit," Anna said, approaching the group from the treeline. The rest of the Guild was on her heels, all appearing out from the woods. "I am subtle and quick to anger," I said. "Sure thing, wizard boy. For real though, you good?" Anna said. "I'll be fine. We'll need to do a wizard council meeting about, well," I said, as I gestured to Artemis. "Shit, so it's still there. I got the message in the chat, but I was sort of hoping it'd be sorted before we got here," Anna said. "Still in my head, the bitch," Artemis said, "I've got it for now." "We need like a safe-word. Like something you blurt out if you're losing it for real," Anna said. "Maybe. I keep thinking of ideas, and the problem is always that I cannot hide them from someone in my head," Artemis said. "Wait, I've got something that might work. Uh, but you cannot ask what it is, I cannot do it now, and I cannot tell you the plan, and you cannot think about it," I said. "Fucking wizards," Marcus said. He was wearing several new scars, and putting a hoodie back on, walking towards us back from what was presumably looting the battlefield. "Alright, so where's Octavia and the ranger guy," I said, "We basically already have the council here." "Does nobody know his name?" Marcus said. "Tell me again about how that mask thing works," Anna said.

"I'm not the traitor. The mask would work if you knew my name. And it'd have to be on my face to work," the ranger leader said, emerging from, well, somewhere. Ranger leader, you know. Stealth specialist. "So what's your name," Anna said. "Does it matter?" he said. "Doesn't it?" I said. "Can we just say it's a Journal thing and leave it at that?" he said.

"What have your people found?" Artemis said, turning to him. "It's a road alright. Cobbled, looks brand new. No traps or anything we could find. Obviously it'd be easier to ambush us on a road, but navigating woods blind isn't exactly safer," he said. "Any idea where it goes?" Artemis said. "Well it does go up, which is I guess where we wanted to go. I figure follow it until either something happens or we hit the mountains," he said. "I'll need rest for at least the day. Sorry, I cannot hike like this," I said.

They were going to answer, but there was a call from the direction this supposed road was in.

"Y'all are never going to believe this! Come, look!" one of the ranger squad said.

We walked that way, and he continued on:

"I swear it wasn't here before. I mean, you checked it yourself, boss, right?" the ranger- a young man- said. "Just lead us there. Danger?" the ranger leader said. "Nothing obvious. But, well, you'll see," the young ranger answered.

We found the road just as my legs were starting to shake even with Zack's support. On the road there was a cart on two wide wheels, and there was a goat the size of a donkey and black as pitch hitched to it. Glued to the goat there was a note. It said:

To my prince, the Wizard. Would have made it a carriage, but then it'd have to turn back at midnight. Enjoy the ride. -TRM, of Goblins.

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