Leo chewed slowly, the crunch of the chocolate chips echoing in the dead-silent office. He swallowed, wiped a crumb from his lip with his cuffed hand, and looked Vex straight in the eye.

"You're arresting me," Leo said, his voice flat. "For giving people money. Without asking for anything back. That... that is your fraud?"

"Exactly!" Vex barked, puffing out his chest. "It's a complicated scam that you're pulling. I won't go into much detail, but we officially call it a Double-Cross-Ponzi-Scheme!"

"You give money away to build trust, and then..." Vex paused, sweating slightly. "And then... Well, the investigation will find out what the second part of the plan is! Nobody is this nice for free!"

Vex turned toward the lobby, raising his voice so the onlookers could hear. "Citizens! Do not be fooled! This man is a menace! By providing zero-interest loans, he is trying to trap you, so he can take everything from you later! He is a vile human being!"

"Unfortunately for him, he came across an honest and incorruptible man like me, so he would never succeed! I will bring him to justice!"

From the back of the lobby, a lone voice cried out: "He gave me fifty thousand credits to fix my prosthetic leg! If that's a scam, scam me again, you coward!"

A chorus of agreement erupted.

"Yeah! My kids have the space shoes that he wanted, now! Arrest me too!"

"Is it a crime to be handsome and generous?!" exclaimed a member of the 'Leo's Left Dimple' Fan Club, brandishing a knitting needle like a tactical dagger.

Vex's face went from crimson to a sickly shade of purple. He signaled to his twelve auditors. "Secure the perimeter! Confiscate the assets! And someone take that woman's knitting needle before she puts an eye out!"

Leo, meanwhile, wasn't resisting. In fact, he looked almost relieved. Finally, he thought, a break from the messages. I wonder if they have Wi-Fi in the high-security block? Probably not. Peaceful, quiet silence.

"Lead the way, Officer," Leo said, offering his cuffed hands with a graceful bow. "But I should warn you, my fans are a bit... enthusiastic."

As Vex tried to march Leo through the lobby, he realized enthusiastic was an understatement. The crowd didn't attack. They simply obstructed.

Every time Vex tried to take a step, a grandmother would 'accidentally' drop a basket of muffins in his path. A group of merchants began a slow motion sit-in, loudly debating the ethical brilliance of Leo's fiscal policy.

"Move! Out of the way of the Law!" Vex screamed, tripping over a 'WE LOVE LEO' plushie that someone had tossed into the fray.

"We can't move, sir!" a man yelled, holding up a toddler. "We're too weighed down by the heavy burden of financial stability! It's paralyzed our legs!"

One of the auditors, a man named Henderson who had a very high forehead and a very low tolerance for nonsense, opened Leo's main ledger.

He was looking for the Hidden Ledger...the one where the real crimes were kept.

"Sir," Henderson whispered, tugging at Vex's sleeve.

"Not now, Henderson! I'm busy being oppressed by a mob of happy people!"

"But sir... look at the books."

Vex snatched the holographic tablet. His eyes scanned the columns.

"Entry 402: Loan to Orphanage.

Interest: 0%.

Collateral: A bald cat which they forced on us?"

"Entry 403: Loan to Widow.

Interest: 0%.

Collateral: A very firm handshake."

"Entry 404: Loan to Small Business.

Interest: 0%.

Collateral: A promise to double it and pass it onto the next person?"

"Where are the kickbacks?" Vex hissed. "Where is the money laundering? I told you to find suspicious dealings, not these stupid things!"

"There isn't any," Henderson sighed. "In fact, according to these numbers, Leo is personally subsidizing the bank, even putting his personal wealth on line. Sir... strictly speaking, he isn't a criminal. He's more like a One Man Welfare State masquerading as a bank."

Vex looked at Leo, who was currently leaning against a pillar, watching the chaos with a bored expression while a fan tried to braid his hair through the gaps in the crowd.

"I don't care!" Vex roared. "The Lionel Family said he's a criminal, so he's a criminal! Search his personal files! There has to be something! Nobody is this clean!"

After ten minutes of frantic digging through the records, Henderson gasped. "I found it! There's a suspicious encrypted file!"

Vex's eyes lit up. "Aha! The evidence! Play it! Let everyone see the true face of this 'Saint'! Then they will let us pass!"

Henderson tapped the screen. The holographic projector flared to life in the middle of the lobby, showing a massive video for everyone to see.

It wasn't a secret plan to overthrow the government. It wasn't a money laundering scheme.

It was a video of Leo, three years ago, trying to teach a golden retriever that he was babysitting. He was trying to teach the dog how to sit.

In the video, Leo accidentally tripped over the dog, fell into a kiddie pool, and came up gasping for air while the dog licked his face.

Leo's voice could be heard laughing, "Okay, okay! You win! No more training, let's just get ice cream!"

The lobby went silent.

Then, a collective 'awwwww' swept through the room like a physical wave. One of the grandmothers actually fainted from the cuteness.

"He... he likes dogs," a girl from his fanclub started sobbing. "And ice cream!"

Leo closed his eyes, his face burning with a different kind of intensity. "That... was supposed to be in my private 'Do Not Open' folder."

Vex stood there, holding the handcuffs, and realized that he wasn't just losing the argument... he was losing the war. He looked at the angry, teary-eyed, muffin-wielding mob, then at the man who was apparently too pure for training dogs.

"So," Leo said, raising his cuffed hands. "Are we going to the station? I hear the food there is terrible, but the peace and quiet is top-tier."

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