The Dungeon of the Teasing Tomb had a temperature problem.

Up on Floor 1, in the Core Chamber and Grika's Workshop, it was a comfortable, dry sixty-eight degrees. It smelled of ozone and dust. It was perfect for mammals.

Down on Floor 2, in the newly christened "Slime Springs," it was… moist.

Reed stood at the bottom of the ramp, shivering slightly. The air here was heavy with humidity. The sound of rushing water was constant—a white noise of splashing, bubbling, and Grika's hydro-jets hissing.

"System," Reed muttered, pulling his coat tighter. "Current temperature?"

[ENVIRONMENTAL SCAN] Floor 2: Subterranean River Biome. Ambient Temp: 55°F (Water is tepid). Humidity: 95%. Status: Great for Slimes. Terrible for Reptiles.

"Right," Reed said. "I should check on the patrol."

He walked carefully, avoiding the lube-patches toward the central pool.

Luma was having the time of her life. She was currently floating on her back in the middle of the lake, her Hydro-Shell Suit keeping her solid while she sprayed water into the air like a fountain.

"Reed!" she bubbled, waving a hand that rippled the water. "Come in! It's only a little freezing!"

"Pass!" Reed called back. "Where's Seraphine?"

Luma pointed a wet finger toward the far side of the cavern, near the entrance to the Rinse Cycle trap.

"She's guarding!" Luma chirped. "She hasn't moved for an hour! She's very dedicated!"

Reed frowned. Seraphine was disciplined, yes, but she usually patrolled. She liked to slither around, inspecting corners and terrorizing dust motes. Standing still for an hour wasn't her style.

He walked around the perimeter of the pool.

He found her wrapped around a stone column.

At first glance, she looked imposing. Her black latex Thermal Dreadnought suit glistened in the dim bio-luminescent light. Her gold plating shone. Her massive emerald tail was coiled tightly around the pillar base, rising up to hold her torso erect, spear in hand.

She looked like a statue of a guardian goddess.

"Seraphine?" Reed asked, approaching.

She didn't answer. She didn't even blink.

"Seraphine?"

He stepped closer. That's when he noticed the vibration.

She wasn't standing still. She was vibrating. A micro-shiver that ran from the tip of her tail all the way up to her shoulders. Her teeth were clenched so hard her jaw muscle was twitching.

"Seraphine!" Reed reached out and touched her arm.

It was freezing.

The thermal suit was glowing faintly orange, trying its best, but the damp, pervasive cold of the cavern had soaked through.

Seraphine's head turned toward him. It was a slow, jerky movement, like a rusty hinge.

"M-m-my… L-lord," she stuttered. Her voice lacked its usual sultry depth; it sounded thin and brittle. "I… am… p-patrolling."

"You're freezing," Reed said, checking the System.

[MONSTER STATUS: SERAPHINE] Condition: [Torpor] (Stage 2).

Effect: Metabolic slowdown due to cold. Speed: -80%.

Dexterity: -60%.

Mood: Grumpy.

"I am… f-fine," she insisted, her eyes unfocused. "Just… conserving… energy."

She tried to uncoil from the pillar to bow to him.

It went wrong immediately.

Her muscles, stiff from the cold, didn't fire correctly. Instead of a graceful slide, her tail simply lost its grip.

THUD.

Seraphine tipped over like a felled tree. She hit the wet stone floor with a heavy, undignified slap of rubber and scales.

"I… meant to… do that," she wheezed from the floor. "Tactical… prone… position."

"Maira!" Reed yelled. "We have a situation!"

The Diagnosis

Two minutes later, Maira was kneeling beside the fallen Guardian, inspecting her with a medical thermometer. Grika was leaning against the pillar, eating a cave-mushroom and looking amused.

"Core temperature is critical," Maira announced, adjusting her glasses. "She has entered reptilian stasis. Essentially, she is drunk on cold."

"Drunk?" Reed asked.

"Lethargic. Confused. Poor motor control," Maira listed. She poked Seraphine's side. The lamia didn't react, just let out a low, miserable hiss. "Her biology cannot sustain activity in this environment without a stronger heat source. The suit helps, but she stayed static too long. The cold soaked in."

"I told her to keep moving," Grika mumbled around a mouthful of mushroom. "She said, 'A Guardian does not fidget.' Well, look at her now. She's a garden hose in winter."

Seraphine lifted her head an inch off the floor. Her eyes were hazy, pupils blown wide.

"I… can… fight," she slurred. She waved her spear feebly. It clattered out of her hand. "Come at me… knave. I will… squeeze you… eventually."

"She's looped," Reed said. "We need to get her to the sauna."

"She weighs four hundred pounds," Grika pointed out. "Mostly muscle. Dead weight muscle."

"We can't drag her," Reed said. "It'll ruin her scales. And her dignity."

He looked at Seraphine. She was shivering violently now, curling into a ball instinctively to preserve heat.

"Seraphine," Reed said, crouching down. "I need you to uncoil. We're going to the hot room."

She looked at him. Her amber eyes locked onto his face.

"Heat," she whispered.

Suddenly, she moved.

It wasn't the graceful strike of a viper. It was the desperate grope of a freezing person finding a blanket.

Her arms shot out and grabbed Reed. She pulled him down.

"Whoa!"

Reed fell onto her chest. Before he could scramble up, her tail—sluggish but still incredibly strong—began to wrap around him.

"Source," she murmured, burying her face in his neck. Her nose was like ice. "Warm source."

"She's leeching his body heat," Maira observed calmly. "Parasitic thermoregulation. Fascinating."

"Help!" Reed squeaked. He was currently being crushed by a very cold, very heavy woman in a latex suit. "She's trying to wear me!"

"It is the most efficient way to warm her up," Maira noted, checking her clipboard. "Let her stabilize. Then she can move."

"I can't breathe!"

"Details," Grika laughed.

Reed struggled, but it was useless. Even in torpor, Seraphine was stronger than him. She wound herself around him tighter, sandwiching him between the coils of her tail and her chest.

Slowly, the shivering stopped. The heat from Reed's body (and his panic) began to seep into her scales.

"Better," she purred, her voice vibrating against his chest. "My Lord is… toasty."

"Great," Reed wheezed. "Now… can we go to the sauna?"

"Carry me," she demanded.

"I literally can't," Reed said.

"Then drag me," she compromised. "But do not let go."

The Heated Rock Lounge

Getting Seraphine to the Boss Room was an exercise in humiliation.

Reed had to walk backwards, with Seraphine clinging to his front like a giant, scaly koala, her tail dragging behind them on the slippery floor. Grika and Maira pushed from behind, shoving the mass of tail meat like they were moving a stalled car.

"Pivot!" Grika yelled. "Pivot the tail!"

"I am pivoting!" Reed groaned.

They finally breached the sauna.

The heat hit them like a physical wall—thick, sulfurous, and wonderful.

"Oh," Seraphine moaned. Her grip on Reed loosened instantly.

She slithered off him and onto the heated stone floor. She sprawled out, expanding to her full length, soaking in the ambient warmth.

"Safe," she whispered. "Warm."

Reed collapsed against the wall, sweating profusely.

"Okay," he panted. "Problem identified. She can't patrol the cold zones for more than twenty minutes. She needs a recharge station."

"The sauna is too far from the entrance," Maira noted. "By the time she returns to her post, she will be cooling down again. It is inefficient."

Reed looked at the map. He looked at his Mana.

[DM: 38.5]

"We need localized heat," Reed said. "Out there. In the gallery."

"Space heaters?" Grika suggested.

"Better," Reed said. "A Heated Rock Lounge."

He focused on the Construction tab. He selected a spot near the center of the main pool cavern—a raised island of stone that offered a good vantage point of the entrance and the slide.

[CONSTRUCTION: ELEMENTAL MODIFICATION]

Target: Stone Platform (Floor 2).

Upgrade: Magma Vein Tap (Minor).

Cost: 10 DM.

"It's expensive," Reed muttered. "But cheaper than a frozen tank."

Push.

The floor rumbled. In the center of the pool cavern, the stone island began to glow. Faint red lines traced their way through the rock as heat from the deep earth was channeled upward. Steam began to rise from the water around the island.

"There," Reed said. "A heated tactical perch."

Seraphine lifted her head. She tasted the air with her tongue.

"I smell… magma," she said.

"I built you a heated bed out there," Reed told her. "So you can guard without freezing your tail off."

Seraphine's eyes dilated. She looked at Reed with an intensity that made Maira step back.

"You moved the earth… for my comfort?" she whispered.

"For tactical readiness," Reed corrected quickly.

Seraphine didn't listen. She slithered over to him. She wasn't sluggish anymore. She was warm, loose, and very fluid.

She circled him, pinning him against the hot wall of the sauna.

"My Lord," she purred, leaning down. "You are… considerate. And warm. Very warm."

She pressed her body against his. The latex of her suit squeaked against his damp clothes. The heat in the room was stifling, but the heat coming off her was hotter.

"I require… topping off," she whispered. "Before I return to the cold."

"Topping off?" Reed squeaked.

"Thermal transfer," she clarified.

She wrapped her tail around his leg, then his waist, pulling him flush against her.

"Maira?" Reed called out. "Help?"

Maira stood in the doorway, fanning herself with her clipboard. The steam was making her hair frizzy.

"It is a medical necessity, Master," Maira said, adjusting her fogged glasses. "Just let it happen. I will log it as… 'Battery Charging.'"

Grika poked her head in. "Hey scales, don't melt him. I need him to approve the shark-roomba blueprints later."

Seraphine ignored them. She lowered her head, resting her chin on Reed's shoulder, wrapping him in a cocoon of bronze armor and emerald scales.

"Five minutes," she promised. "Then I will guard your puddle."

Reed sighed, his arms trapped at his sides.

"Five minutes," he agreed.

He leaned his head back against her shoulder plating. It was… actually kind of nice. Like being hugged by a very aggressive electric blanket.

[MONSTER BOND – SERAPHINE UPDATED]

Loyalty: 22 (Devoted).

Condition: [Cold Dependent].

Note: She now associates you with survival. Good luck with that.

Later – The Heated Rock

Floor 2 was operational again.

Seraphine was coiled on her new island in the middle of the lake. The stone beneath her glowed with a dull red heat, keeping her core temperature high. Steam curled around her, giving her a mystical, terrifying aura.

From her perch, she watched the entrance slide with lazy, predatory eyes.

Luma bobbed in the water nearby.

"Are you warm now, Seraphine?" Luma asked, splashing water on the lamia's tail.

"I am sufficient," Seraphine replied, steam rising from her scales where the water hit.

She looked up at the ceiling, where Reed was watching from the Core View.

She smiled a small, secret smile.

"But the Master is warmer."

Up in the Core Chamber, Reed shivered.

"Why do I feel like I just became a portable heater?" he asked Maira.

Maira smirked, organizing her cleaning supplies.

"Because you did, Master. And I suggest you get used to it. Winter is coming."

Reed looked at the map. The dungeon was stable. The water was flowing. The snake was warm.

"Open for business," he whispered.

[FLOOR 2 STATUS]

Guardian: Active (Heated).

Traps: Lubricated.

Threat Level: Slippery.

Now all they needed were some idiots to slide down the chute.

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