The bell rang.

Well, not a literal bell. It was the specific, low-frequency hum that vibrated through the dungeon's stone bones when a registered party entered the perimeter.

Reed sat up on his bed in the Core Chamber. The holographic screens flickered to life around him.

"Customers," he announced.

Grika, currently sitting on the floor polishing her harpoon gun, looked up. She adjusted the straps of her new Sapper's Bikini.

"Fresh meat?" she asked, a predatory grin spreading across her face.

"Repeat customers," Reed corrected, checking the identifiers.

[INTRUDERS DETECTED]

Party: "The First Timers" (Lena, Tessa, Brin). Status: Returning.

Gear Score: Slightly improved.

Vibe: Overconfident.

"It's Lena," Reed said. "And the nerd. And the rogue who hates everything."

"Plate Girl!" Grika cheered. She stood up, checking the grease grenades on her belt. "Oh, she's gonna hate the water. Have you ever tried swimming in full plate? It's like trying to teach a rock to dance."

Maira glided into the room. She was wearing her Supervisor's Skin swimsuit, clipboard in hand.

"Stations," Maira ordered. "Luma, saturate the slide. Seraphine, assume the heated position. Grika, man the jets."

Luma bounced out of the safe room, wearing her vacuum-sealed Hydro-Shell.

"I'm gonna get them so slippery!" she squealed, dissolving into a puddle and surging toward the hallway.

Reed watched them go. He felt the nervous, electric energy of the dungeon ramping up.

He leaned back, expanding the main view screen.

"Showtime," he whispered.

Floor 1 – The Descent

Lena felt good.

She had a new shield—reinforced steel, not the cheap iron one she'd lost last time. She had a new breastplate with actual padding. She felt sturdy.

"Okay," she told her team as they moved through the familiar corridor of Floor 1. "We know the drill. Watch for the goblin. Watch for shifting floors. Don't trust the walls."

"I'm tracking mana signatures," Tessa whispered, her staff glowing softly. "It's stronger than last week. The density has doubled."

Brin moved silently in the rear. "I just want to get in, get the chest, and get out without being cuddled by a snake."

They reached the end of the first corridor. But instead of the familiar workshop, they found something new.

A dark, gaping hole in the wall. A spiral ramp leading down.

The air blowing up from it was warm, humid, and smelled like… tropical flowers?

"New floor," Lena breathed, her eyes lighting up. "It expanded."

"That smell," Tessa sniffed. "Is that… lubricant?"

"Only one way to find out," Lena said. She stepped onto the ramp.

It started innocently enough. Rough stone. Good footing.

Then, ten feet down, the texture changed.

The stone became glassy. Wet. Glistening with a translucent blue sheen.

"Careful," Brin warned. "It looks sl—"

Lena took a step. Her boot hit the [Viscous Residue].

Friction left the chat.

"WHOA!"

Lena's legs went out from under her. She didn't fall backward; she fell forward, landing on her breastplate.

Usually, metal on stone makes a grinding noise. This made a wet shhh-luck sound.

She started to slide.

"Grab me!" she yelled.

Brin reached out. He stepped onto the slime.

SPLAT.

He went down on his back.

Tessa tried to brace herself with her staff. The staff slipped.

THUD.

"Going down!" Tessa shrieked.

Gravity took the wheel.

They accelerated. The ramp spiraled down into the dark, turning into a human bobsled run. The sensation was disorienting—and weirdly pleasant. The slime wasn't cold; it was warm and tingly. It soaked through their clothes instantly.

"It's in my armor!" Lena yelled as she banked around a corner, picking up speed. "It's sticky!"

"It's chemically fascinating!" Tessa yelled back, spinning in circles.

"It's gross!" Brin screamed.

They shot out of the tunnel at terminal velocity.

Floor 2 – The Splash Zone

The exit of the slide was perfectly positioned about ten feet above the surface of the subterranean lake.

Lena flew out first.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

SPLASH.

She hit the water like a cannonball.

Tessa followed. SPLASH.

Brin brought up the rear, flailing. FLOP.

The water was warm, churning, and chaotic. Lena surfaced, gasping, weighed down by her armor. She thrashed, trying to find footing.

"Deep!" she coughed. "Can't… touch… bottom!"

"I've got you!" Tessa yelled, casting a buoyancy spell.

They bobbed in the water, treading to stay afloat. They wiped the water from their eyes and looked around.

They were in a massive cavern. Bioluminescent moss glowed on the ceiling. Steam rose from the water.

And waiting for them, standing on a floating platform of stone, was Grika.

But not the Grika they remembered.

This Grika was wearing black rubber straps that barely qualified as a bikini. Her skin glistened with oil. She held a harpoon gun on her hip like a gunslinger.

"Welcome to the Splash Zone, ladies!" Grika crowed. "And Brin."

She winked at the rogue.

"Nice entry. A little flail-y on the dismount, but I'll give it a six out of ten."

"You!" Lena wiped wet hair out of her face. "You're… wearing rubber."

"Waterproof," Grika grinned. "Unlike your plate mail. You look heavy, Plate Girl. Need a lift?"

She pointed to the ramp leading out of the water—the Lubricated Gauntlet.

"Exit's that way. If you can make it."

Lena growled. The challenge lit a fire in her belly. She started swimming toward the ramp. It was slow going. Her armor felt like an anchor.

"I'm coming for you, goblin!" Lena shouted.

"I hope so," Grika laughed. She reached for the lever on her platform. "But first… you need a shower."

She pulled the lever.

HISSSSSS.

The High-Pressure Bidet activated.

Jets of water blasted across the ramp.

Lena reached the bottom of the slope and tried to stand. The floor was slick with slime. She slipped, fell to her hands and knees, and started to crawl.

THWAP.

A jet of water hit her square in the chest. It was powerful like a solid punch! It pushed her backward.

"Gah!"

Another jet hit her from the side.

"It's… pushing me down!" Lena yelled.

Brin tried to dash up the side. A jet caught him in the face.

"It's in my nose!" he gagged, sliding back into the pool.

Up on the Core View, Reed was watching through his fingers.

"It's brutal," he whispered. "It's like a game show where the prize is drowning."

"It is effective," Maira noted, checking the mana logs. "Look at the emotional resonance. Frustration. Embarrassment. Determination. It is a potent cocktail."

"And look at Lena," Reed pointed out.

On screen, the warrior had abandoned dignity. She was crawling up the ramp on her stomach, digging her gauntleted fingers into the slime. The water jets hammered her back, soaking her tunic beneath the armor until it was translucent, plastering her hair to her skull.

She was growling.

"I… will… not… slip!"

She lunged, grabbing the edge of the dry platform at the top. She hauled herself up, dripping, panting, looking like a vengeful sea monster.

Grika whistled.

"Not bad," the goblin admitted. "You got grip."

Lena stood up, water pouring off her armor. She glared at Grika.

"Round two," Lena rasped.

"Not with me," Grika smiled. She pointed behind Lena. "With her."

Lena turned.

The Heated Rock Island rose from the mist in the center of the cavern.

And there she was.

Seraphine.

The lamia lay sprawled on the heated stone, her black latex bodysuit gleaming in the red light of the magma veins. Her gold plating caught the reflections of the water. Her tail, equipped with the glowing orange thermal rings, was uncoiled in a lazy, massive loop.

She looked… sultry. Dangerous. And very, very warm.

She lifted her head as Lena approached. Her eyes were heavy-lidded.

"You made it," Seraphine purred. Her voice echoed over the water, deep and vibrating. "You look… cold."

Lena shivered. She was cold. The water, the jets, the slime—it had sapped her heat.

Seraphine slithered off the rock. She moved differently in the water. On land, she was heavy. In the water, she was weightless. She glided toward Lena, her tail undulating beneath the surface.

"Come here," Seraphine whispered, rising from the water to tower over the warrior. "Let me warm you up."

Lena raised her shield, but her arms were shaking.

"Stay back," Lena warned.

Seraphine laughed. It was a low, throaty sound.

"No."

She struck.

She didn't bite. She didn't stab. She surged forward, wrapping her arms around Lena's waist.

The impact knocked the breath out of Lena. The latex of Seraphine's suit was hot against Lena's cold armor.

Then the tail came up.

It breached the surface like a leviathan, looping around Lena's legs, her shield, her sword arm.

The [Constrictor] trait activated.

Seraphine squeezed.

"Mmm," the lamia hummed, burying her face in the crook of Lena's neck. "You are freezing. You need thermal transfer."

Lena dropped her sword. She couldn't help it. The pressure on her arms was immense, pinning them to her sides. But it wasn't painful. It was… overwhelming.

She was trapped in a pillar of heat. The thermal rings on Seraphine's tail pressed against her legs, radiating warmth into her chilled muscles. The latex squeaked as Seraphine adjusted her grip, pulling Lena flush against her torso.

"I… can't… breathe," Lena gasped.

"You don't need to breathe," Seraphine whispered into her ear. "You just need to melt."

Tessa and Brin watched from the water below, treading water in shock.

"Is she… hugging her to death?" Brin asked, horrified.

"She's thermoregulating her," Tessa corrected, adjusting her wet glasses. "And asserting dominance. It's… surprisingly effective."

"It's weird!" Brin yelled.

Luma popped up next to Brin. She was in her ball-form, bouncing on the surface tension.

"Do you want a hug too?" Luma asked brightly.

Brin screamed and swam for the exit.

The Aftermath

Ten minutes later, the party was back on the surface.

They were soaking wet. They were covered in blue slime residue. They were exhausted.

Lena sat on a rock, steam literally rising from her armor. Her face was bright red.

"She…" Lena stared at the ground. "She held me for… I don't know how long."

"Five minutes," Tessa checked her pocket watch (which was miraculously dry). "She released you when your heart rate stabilized."

"She called me 'Little Ice Cube,'" Lena whispered. She touched her neck where the lamia had nuzzled her.

"We got the loot though," Brin said, holding up a waterproof bag. "Grika threw it at me while I was swimming away. She said 'Good hustle, Shrimp.'"

He looked at the bag. Inside were water-breathing potions and a polished river stone that glowed.

"They let us go again," Brin said. "After… washing us."

Lena stood up. She wrung out her hair. A determined fire lit up her eyes.

"I need a swimsuit," she announced.

Tessa blinked. "What?"

"Plate mail is a liability down there," Lena said. "If I'm going to beat that snake… I need to be aerodynamic. I need to be slippery."

She looked back at the cave entrance.

"I'm going to the tailor."

Underground

Reed stared at the Mana total.

[DM: 42.5 → 65.0]

[REPUTATION UPDATE]

New Tag: "The Wet & Wild Dungeon."

Adventurer Review: "5 Stars. Very clean. Very tight hugs."

"Sixty-five mana," Reed said. "From one run."

Grika walked in, drying her hair with a towel. She high-fived Luma.

"Did you see Brin's face when Luma popped up?" Grika laughed. "Priceless."

Seraphine slithered in from the sauna. She looked sleepy and satisfied.

"The warrior was… firm," Seraphine murmured, coiling onto her bed. "She has good density. I look forward to squeezing her again."

Maira adjusted her glasses.

"The floor requires mopping," she noted. "The lubrication residue is excessive. However… the system worked."

Reed lay back on his bed. He felt the dungeon settling around him, a massive, wet, happy organism.

"We're a spa," he realized. "We're a combat spa for adventurers with abandonment issues."

He closed his eyes.

"System," he thought. "What's next?"

[QUEST UNLOCKED: THE CULTURAL EXCHANGE]

Incoming: A party of "Culture Enthusiasts" (Bards).

Objective: Prove you aren't just a meme. Reward: Currency (Gold).

Reed smiled.

"Bards," he whispered. "Oh no."

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