"I am retiring from 'adventure,' Juliana," he said, his voice all calm, and cool, and final. "I'm done. I am going to take my giant pile of money... and I am going to buy a giant, fancy castle in the capital. And then... I am going to live my life... with my... harem."

He said that last word real slow, just to let it sink in. "A big, giant harem. Full of lots... and lots... of hot women.

This... this 'adventure' stuff... this 'saving villages from milk' crap... it's just... it's not for me. It's boring. It's work. And I am not coming back. At all."

And just to show her he was so serious... just to really rub it in... he reached out his hand... and he patted her on the head.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

Like she was a dog. A tiny, stupid, confused little dog.

And then... he just walked away. He didn't say goodbye. He just turned his back on her, and her stupid milk cult... and he kept walking. He was walking toward the bank. He was walking toward his real destiny.

Juliana just... stood there. She didn't move. She just froze on the sidewalk. She stood there for a few more long, silent, confused minutes.

She just... watched his back. She watched him get smaller... and smaller... and smaller... until his brand-new, expensive suit just... disappeared... right into the distant crowd of busy people.

Her mouth was open. Her brain was just... broken.

Finally... finally... she snapped out of it.

"What... what the... what the HELL... just happened... to that SHIT-HEAD?!"

She finally screamed at the empty air where he used to be. A... a... harem?! A HAREM?!

"This is... this is UNACCEPTABLE! This is... WRONG! I... I WILL bring him back! I'll drag that jerk back by his stupid, arrogant, blonde hair if I have to! He is NOT getting a stupid harem! I mean, retiring from adventure!!!"

...

Alex was finally... finally... at the bank. It felt like it had taken him ten years just to walk there. And then, of course, he got inside and saw... the line. The que. It wasn't a line. It was a giant, long, stupid, endless snake of boring, sad people, winding all the way back to the door.

He had to wait for over two hours.

Two... full... agonizingly boring... sixty-minute... hours.

The entire time, his hand was stuffed deep down inside his suit pocket. He was clutching his precious, beautiful, life-changing cheque. He was strangling it, practically. He never, ever let it go.

His hand was probably getting all hot and sweaty down there, and the poor paper was probably getting all wrinkly... but who cared? This was his money. This was his future harem. He would die before he let go of this thing.

Meanwhile, as he was slowly dying of boredom, a large T.V. on the wall in the background was showing the "breaking news" across the whole kingdom. And... of course... the main news story... the biggest, scariest, most important thing happening in the entire world... was the new milk terrorists.

The ones known as... the "Lord of the Milkers." A very serious-looking elf reporter was telling everyone the super-urgent news.

Alex squinted at the screen. He knew that elf...

"Wait a minute! Isn't that Cassandra!" he whispered to himself.

Yep. It was her. The exact same elf girl! The one Alex had personally taught how to flirt and be all sexy. The one who was standing right there... back at Lily's shop... while he was busy... ahem... fingering Lily under the counter.

His little "student" in horniness was a big-shot TV reporter now! He felt... weirdly... so proud. And also, super turned on.

On the screen, Cassandra was looking so professional and so serious. "The... the group... they have claimed themselves as the... Lord of the Milkers!! It is... it is terrible here..." she continued, her voice all shaky.

As soon as she said the name again, all the boring people in the bank line started... murmuring. The "murmers" got louder and louder.

Everybody around him was talking about the milk terrorists. They were all scared. Their voices were all shaky and worried.

"Oh, dear, what will we do?"

"A... a milk cult? That's just awful!"

Alex, meanwhile, had to bite his lip so he wouldn't just burst out laughing. He had the strongest urge to just... howl. Right there in the bank. It was... it was just so unbelievably stupid. A milk terrorist!

'Man, oh man,' he thought, a giant, stupid grin spreading across his face. 'I cannot wait to see the so-called "heroes" and "adventurers" fighting the Lord of the Milkers! Ha ha ha! It's gonna be so fun to watch! What are they gonna do? Throw cookies at them? This is the best!'

"Cheque, please."

A boring, dead voice broke him out of his happy thoughts. The man behind the thick glass window... the cashier... was talking to him. Alex finally tore his eyes away from Cassandra's hot, elfy face on the TV and looked back at the bank guy.

"Oh, here it is."

This was it! The moment! His real destiny! Alex finally pulled his precious, slightly-sweaty hand out of his pocket. He held the magic paper up. He extended his arm, pushing the cheque through the little slot.

The cashier grabbed the other end of the cheque with his boring fingers...

...But... all of a sudden... Alex froze.

His hand... stopped. He didn't let go.

The cashier, who was in the middle of pulling it... also stopped. He raised an eyebrow at Alex, annoyed. "Sir?" Alex was still grabbing it. They were now stuck in a tiny, silent, paper tug-of-war over the glass.

It wasn't because Alex was suddenly unhappy to release the cheque. It wasn't because he was sad to see his baby go.

It was because... in that one... single... tiny... horrible... split-second... as the cashier was pulling it... his eyes... finally... read the name on it.

He hadn't even looked before! He was too busy clutching it and smelling it and dreaming about it!

His eyes finally read the name... of the person... who was giving him the cheque. The person who signed it.

The name... written right there on the "Pay From" line... in big, fancy, looping letters...

The name on it was...

Lord of the Milkers!

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