Including but not limited to psychological problems, difficulty in adaptation, and even mental illnesses.

When the [Id] is too dominant, overpowering the [Self] and [Super-Ego], one becomes driven by instincts, turning into a beast of desires.

Poor impulse control, emotional instability, lack of moral boundaries, and the pursuit of instant gratification are all consequences of the [Id] being too dominant.

Most criminals are slaves to the [Id].

"And when the [Super-Ego] is too strong, it often makes people ignore their own needs, even to the point of detaching from reality," said Nan Zhubin, looking at the visitor.

As the visitor showed a thoughtful expression, Nan Zhubin continued, "Those lofty moral standards make people set unrealistic goals for themselves. For example, your previous [Ideal Self]."

The visitor gave an embarrassed smile.

"After making a mistake, an overly strong [Super-Ego] leads one to excessively criticize themselves; even if it's not their fault, the individual will punish themselves."

This refers to the visitor's previous behavior of self-criticism after being scammed.

In addition, a powerful [Super-Ego] can cause other issues.

For example, in some extreme morals, the belief that 'pleasure' is bad, leading to repression and abstinence;

Strictly following rules, not knowing how to be flexible, resulting in rigidity and inflexible thinking and behavior;

And due to the [Super-Ego] constantly supervising and criticizing oneself, life becomes full of pressure, with rare moments of ease and joy, eventually leading to the inability to feel happiness.

Pathologically, this manifests as [Anxiety Disorders], [Depression], [Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder], and related symptoms.

Nan Zhubin looked at the visitor, saying, "In fact, even now, your [Super-Ego] occasionally shows signs of breaking through the balance."

"When you first wanted to recount your childhood trauma, mentioning topics related to your parents, you subconsciously felt nervous and hesitant. It was because you realized that your narration conflicted with the [Super-Ego] related to filial piety, subconsciously stopping yourself from recounting anything negative about your parents."

"And even if you managed to speak about those negative things, you couldn't help but exonerate your parents."

Nan Zhubin made a timeline gesture: "Like when you mentioned 'your father picking up a kitchen knife because you couldn't stop crying', you immediately gave long explanations to convince yourself, and me, of the notion that 'your father didn't really want to harm you', helping your father save face."

The visitor appeared to be reminiscing.

It seemed to truly be the case.

"A strong [Super-Ego] isn't a bad thing; it shows that you have high moral standards," Nan Zhubin consoled, "but everything needs moderation."

"Your overly strong [Super-Ego] and repressed [Id] are already mismatched, to the point where the [Self] cannot balance, leading to the current situation."

With that, Nan Zhubin sighed, "Not to mention, in this situation, your [Self] also has another level of unfulfilled longing for familial affection, making you even more uncomfortable."

Fortunately, the visitor has now made attempts to adjust these three "selves".

Nan Zhubin's analysis essentially laid bare the visitor's transformation, presenting it clearly before them.

This allowed the visitor to gain a clearer understanding of themselves and have more direction for future changes.

Of course, this alone wasn't enough; Nan Zhubin needed to continue to [Support] the visitor.

...

"I wonder if you realize that your parents' three 'selves' are also very unstable."

The visitor was taken aback.

But then, after carefully pondering with the knowledge Nan Zhubin had previously imparted, they quickly unraveled the entanglement,

and a relieved expression appeared on their face.

There were some words they still found difficult to speak, so Nan Zhubin, as a consultant, analyzed and spoke on their behalf.

Nan Zhubin's expression became slightly more serious: "When you confided your trauma to them, they denied it. I pondered several reasons why they did so—"

"Perhaps, they realized you spoke the truth, but they pretended ignorance, they denied it, and subconsciously chose to uphold themselves as parents rather than provide you with healing."

The visitor pursed their lips.

"Perhaps, even though they recalled the facts you mentioned, in their value system, the things you spoke of were not deemed significant, so they don't recognize the harm done to you. Therefore, they do not remember your trauma;

"And even if they remember the trauma, they would shift focus in the conversation with you. They don't realize that they should comfort and support you now, thus they turn to self-preservation, skirting around the issue."

The visitor clasped their hands together.

Nan Zhubin's three possibilities were quite harsh.

Seeing the visitor's expression, Nan Zhubin relaxed his tone slightly.

"Or, perhaps they... might also recognize their inappropriate behavior and regret it. But out of subconscious self-preservation, to maintain their cognition as 'good parents', they blocked out these negative aspects."

Whether this explanation was better or worse compared to the previous three was uncertain.

After a moment, the visitor shook their head, "I can't change them. I've tried before... but failed. Now, I just want to feel better about myself, and I can only change myself."

"Following your guidance, my teacher, I adjusted my [Super-Ego]: I will fulfill the obligation to support them, maintain basic communication; simultaneously, I adjusted my [Id], no longer harbouring undisclosed yearning towards them."

Nan Zhubin nodded, "Yes, under such circumstances, your [Self] can find a balance point between reality and your inner self."

In this situation, simple cognitive adjustments are not enough.

At least, there's no way for the visitor to complete their healing in a short time.

That's why the Psychological Consultant needs to exert effort.

Nan Zhubin said, "Next, we need to perform a simple ritual."

The visitor lifted their head, showing an explorative gaze.

Nan Zhubin continued, "We need to conduct a—[Mourning]."

The visitor was startled, "'Mourning'?"

Nan Zhubin nodded, "Yes, for you—or rather, for the past 'you', to have [Mourning]."

...

The full term is [Mourning Loss].

This is an active process, referring to when an individual faces significant, irreversible loss, through experiencing a series of complex emotional and cognitive phases, eventually achieving a position and reconciliation with the 'lost object' in their inner world, so that they can reinvest in life.

For visitors with childhood trauma, their subconscious may harbor the erroneous cognition that 'if I am sufficiently in pain, sufficiently longing, perhaps I can change the past and get the love I deserve.'

Thus, what they need to complete is the mourning for the 'parents they never had' and for the 'childhood longings that can never be fulfilled.'

A complete [Mourning Loss] consultation process involves four stages.

The first stage is to establish a safe and stable environment. After all of Nan Zhubin's long-standing consultation efforts, the visitor is almost always in this state.

The second stage is to explore and verify. The focus is on narrating past events, connecting with present experiences, and exploring 'what exactly was lost'.

These were consciously guided by Nan Zhubin after realizing that the visitor would present childhood trauma issues in this consultation.

The third stage is to experience. Experience sadness, allow anger while reconciling—which ultimately is not about 'letting go' and 'forgiving', but about 'no longer expecting'.

This is what Nan Zhubin has just accomplished.

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